The seat below me is hard, cold, unforgiving. I’ve been sitting here for, I don’t know, an hour, just staring at this screen and hoping to find some solidarity in something. Maybe I’ll find something I can relate to. Maybe I’ll stumble into some life changing piece of advice, or random stranger, who’ll shine a light on everything dark and make things seems worthwhile again. Now, the longer I sit here, staring, hoping, the more I know that the world around me is just as hard, cold, and unforgiving as the seat beneath my aching bottom. I’ve searched so long for answers to so many questions. I’ve looked high and low, here and there, even deep inside myself, as the old adages often advise. I’ve found nothing worth keeping, nothing worth holding on to. Hope fades, leaving in its wake only strangled dreams and a sense of bitterness I doubt I’ll ever outgrow. So much is gone, never to return, and most of that is me. I feel empty, hollow, remorseful to the greatest extent I think humanity can reach. No one sees. How can they not see? But then again, I suppose, how could they? Maybe I expect too much, or maybe they offer forth far too little.

In any case, I am bare. Too much I’ve given and even more I’ve watched leave. I cannot, anymore. I’m so weary of trying to define the abstract, trying to make sense of a senseless world. Maybe best to just float until I sink. Let the world be what it is, and let me be alone in it. People are confusing and I no longer have the energy for the emotions I need to deal with them.